install theme

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

  • Lady on the bus next to me: Tell me again- what are you not going to do in daycare today?
  • Little boy: I will not hit the teacher with a light saber.
  • Lady: And why are you not going to hit her with a light saber?
  • Boy: It is my toy, and my choice, but if I hit her with the light saber, I'm acting like a Sith.
  • Lady: Do you want to be a Sith?
  • Boy: No! I am Obi-Wan!

If Benedict and Martin were at the Emmys

hailhydrra:

Benedict accepting the award: Its such an honour to be here receiving this gracious award. i’d like to thank (lists every single member of the cast and crew) and i’d like to thank my parents who were an amazing addition to the show and i’d like to thank martin freeman for being an outstanding co-star and also mark gatiss and steven moffat for their stunning writing. im very humbled thank you so much to the academy.

Martin accepting the award: fucking right

^